America's Next Top Relatable Model: Ann Ward/ Bullying Sucks: It Will Get Better

I never thought I'd be writing a post like this as it exposes one of my "secret shames."  You may be more familiar with the term closet geek, but I am the opposite of that, I suppose I'm a closet girly girl...sort of. I do like to dress up and play around with make-up, hair and nails but when it comes to media related things such as chick flicks, girly shows, womens magazines and "Britney Spearsesque" music I tend to be less open in sharing these things. I guess most of the reason is because most of my friends are guys who don't really care to talk outside games, geekery, sexy babes and sports. I guess this blog is a good place to release that girly build-up...in which I won't refer to as girly build-up anymore 'cause that just sounds gross lol.

So I'm coming out of the girly girl closet hahaha

So I haven't followed America's Next Top Model closely for quite some time. I watched the first two or so seasons and eventually lost interest which was probably due to some bitchiness or cattiness among the contestants or general bad feelings I got when I watched the show.  I then checked in again when one season featured shorter models, but never really followed all the way through.  This season though, Tyra Banks kicked it up 10 notches by offering some huge prizes, which included:

1) A contract with IMG Models, one of the top international modeling management companies in the world.
2) A fashion spread in Vogue Italia and an additional spread and cover of Beauty in Vogue.
3) A $100,000 contract with Cover Girl Cosmetics.
4) And some new found confidence!

It's time to get serious because the stakes are high!

So my closet girliness was intrigued and tuned in to watch the entire season of America's Next Top Model Cycle 15. I was hooked mostly because I was rooting for 19 year old, Ann Ward from Dallas, Texas, who caught my interest immediately. For me she was completely relatable. I once was her; completely shy, bullied in high school, lacked confidence, and was uniquely awkward. Apparently Ann Ward caused some controversy before the season even aired, which I didn't read about until after the season was over. A promo for ANTM had featured Tyra commenting on Ann's small waist. People from all over were flaming Tyra for promoting unhealthy bodies, which was not the case and Tyra defended her case by stating, "As a leader in celebrating and promoting healthy body image, I must admit that I regrettably didn’t see this clip before it was released to the public. But on behalf of the Top Model team, these were not the intentions, and we truly apologize for any confusion, anger or disappointment it may have caused." I guess all that complained didn't watch the "KISS MY FAT ASS!!" Tyra show episode.

Ann Ward had been teased and bullied for being thin and being blessed with a height of 6'2".  It never mattered what any of those bullies said to Ann, because she truly came out on top.  She was the first in ANTM history to receive top photo 5 times consecutively and by the end of the competition was announced the winner of ANTM cycle 15.  This was the first time I was actually overjoyed about an ANTM winner. Ann is very talented, beautiful and has an amazing future ahead of her! (Side note: I also read that Ann plays video games which makes me love her even more!)

Ann Ward's photo from the Matthew Rolston photo shoot

I know how it is to be bullied for being thin from experience and some may think it's not as bad as being bullied for being overweight but in the end bullying is bullying no matter what, where and who does it. I was bullied and teased for a lot of different things and of course this includes things I couldn't change about myself, (like being short or Asian.  How messed up is that?)  My peers were feeding me a lot of negativity and I had grown to believe that there was something horribly wrong with me. I was a thin girl growing up, but it wasn't unhealthy; it was a mixture of my parents genes, a healthy diet, my youths metabolism and a mixture of physical education. I was naturally thin, but it didn't stop girls from accusing me for being bulimic or anorexic.  For me the bullying started in elementary school; I got my first taste of how nasty girls can be, which is not far off from the movie "Mean Girls."

The lamest creation of an evil teenage girl is the 3-way call phone trap...

So I got bullied and teased by boys and girls, some I knew and some I didn't even know at all.  End of elementary and all throughout high school I was pretty insecure with myself, but it wasn't all bad.  A lot of good came from that experience.  I was able to channel all that teenage angst creatively (as seen below.)  I saw the world with different eyes and experienced it in a way that made me who I am today, so for that I am thankful.

Look what I made mom!  Me at 17 once again haha.

I attended college in the fall after high school graduation. It was a new beginning for me as I was moving to a whole new city and could gain a brand new perspective.  I knew I couldn't think so negatively about myself anymore and started transforming all of the negative thoughts into positive ones.  I started to enjoy myself more and worried less of what others thought.  I learned a whole heck of a lot during those years, met some amazingly awesome people who I consider the best people on this planet, learned to love and believe in myself and also found great love at the same time :).  I gradually transformed into someone with higher self-esteem and confidence.  It really is true when they say "It will get better."  Even though that's the message/slogan for the gay rights/anti-suicide campaign, it applies to all aspects of bullying.  I have my family and close friends to thank for being there and supporting me during my young years when I was bullied.  To anyone who is a subject to bullying, don't be afraid to talk to someone about it.  I can wholeheartedly say...it will get better and that's a promise!

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2010 Wish List of a Girly Gamer Geek

All in all I wouldn't consider myself as a superficial or materialist person, but as December nears closer I can't help but think of all the wonderful and sparkly things that the humble hoarder inside of me wants.  I was talking with my sister Emily recently and I had remembered that I needed her wish list for this upcoming Christmas, which then prompted her to remind me that she needed mine as well.  Since I have this lovely blog and need to share this list with more than one person and my birthday is also coming up *wink wink* might as well utilize it and display my 2010 Birthday/Christmas wish list.  Now without further ado here is my 2010 Wish List in no particular order :).


1) Crystal Fighters - Star of Love Album is first up on the list.  This is a group that was featured on musigh.  I fell in love with this album immediately after my first listen.  I listened to this album every day at work for the last little while as it helped me keep focus as I multi-tasked up a storm.  I really want to take this album with me wherever I go as it puts me in such a great mood whenever I listen to it.  The album only seems to be sold in the UK so it can only be acquired via iTunes (lame!) and via the interwebs off the HMV site. Shipping and handling fees are a few of my favourite things (not!)  You can stream Star of Love via Sound Cloud, which I've embedded below.  Take a listen while you peruse through the rest of this wish list.  My fave song off the album is "At Home", which is very fitting of the holiday season.

2) Fable III:  And at number 2 is Fable III.  I didn't play Fable I, I'm almost done Fable II, and I'm excited to get my hands on Fable III.  I love everything about Fable II, all but one thing; is it just me or does the menu design suck major ass?  Let's hope this is something they've improved in this third installment.  I am making it a goal to finish Fable II before November is up but my time has filled up recently with birthdays, crafting, shopping and life :P.

I'll have lots of free time around Christmas to play this as I've booked off 2 weeks vacation time.

3) Murchies Libre To Go Gift Set:  This gift set is a huge tease (teas)...get it!  Okay enough with the puns, (although I do enjoy myself a good pun.)  After having discovered an awesome American tea store called Teavana, during my business trip to Las Vegas, I wanted to discover something closer to home and found Murchies, which has been around since 1894.  This great gift set features their blueberry green tea, raspberry black tea and their afternoon blend, which is a mixture of their black teas.  It also comes with this awesome tea tumbler that is double walled to keep your tea hot for hours, includes a tea strainer to keep the loose leaves out of your tea and a tight screw top for maximum leakage protection.  My best friend Laura purchased this exact tumbler, (apart from the design) over at Whole Foods a while back and I've been wanting one ever since.  This gift set is available in store at their 6 locations and via their site.

What a lovely basket

The tumbler of tea champions

4) Learning ActionScript 3.0 - A Beginners's Guide by Rich Shupe with Zevan Rosser:  I haven't touched ActionScript since high school.  Back then there was only ActionScript 2.0.  I really want to refresh my skills and make some cool interactive Flash games.  I browsed around the interwebs and saw others recommending this book for people like me.  Time to throw the AS3 n00b status out the door yo! 

A frosty cover perfect for winter

5) A Big Box of Mandarin Oranges:  I fucking love these.  I could eat them every day.  I could and probably have at some point eaten a whole box to myself.  I am the "Food Monster" for a reason.  My mom likes to put one of these in the toe of our stockings for good luck.  Not sure what the origin of that is...maybe it's just something my mom made up?  Anyways these are delicious and I would be happy if this was the only thing I got for Christmas. 

LOOOOOOVE THESE!

6) Canon PowerShot S95:  It's been a while since I've went around and taken some photos.  A lot of this is due to past equipment that was more frustrating than fun to use.  I was reading up about digital point and shoot cameras and the Canon PowerShot S95 called my name.  It has a line-up of sexy features that meet all my camera needs including capturing HD video.  It's currently on sale at Future Shop.

Sleek and compact design...soooo sexy!

This will be my reaction if I am so lucky to receive such a lovely gift.

7) Urban Decay Naked Palette: Every now and then I throw some make-up on my face to accentuate my features.  I have brown eyes, which can be paired with most eyeshadow colours, but I like to keep everything natural on a normal day.  Urban Decay Naked Palette has been sold out every time I venture over to Sephora and is seemingly impossible to acquire.  The 12 shades look absolutely gorgeous and right up my alley.  It also comes with Urban Decay's famous Eyeshadow Primer Potion to make eye colour more brilliant and 2 convenient eyeliners.

They say the eyes are the windows to your soul...or bigger than your stomach...or bigger than your wallet...or your wallets soul

8) Brilliance Found - Feather Wrap Ring: I love my rings dearly.  When I forget to put my rings on it makes me sad.  I currently have 2 rings I wear often.  I have one which I acquired from a kiosk during the time I attended college.  It's sterling silver and features little elephants.  I love elephants which are considered lucky in India.  To me this ring symbolizes a time of independence and strength.  I bought my other ring from the cruise ship during my big trip 2 years ago.  It's also sterling silver and is a simple band which has a nice wave shape to it.  This ring for me symbolizes my "go with the flow" attitude and the milestone of going on my first big trip.  Enough about my old rings!

This feather ring would symbolize a lot of things for me.  I love nature, always grew up around it and always loved birds.  If you didn't know already, the "dee" in my username comes from chickadee, which are very cute birds I grew up around.  My favourite type of bird are crows and there's a lot more meaning behind that, which I won't go into right now.  Brilliance Found is a store posted on Etsy.  I had heard about this store from a friend (the one that bought me the OPI nail polish.)  This store has a lot of beautiful creations posted up which you should definitely check out.  The fact this jeweler is local makes me like it even more. 

I would flap my wings if I had them if I had this ring

They also have this ring created by Foxy Originals which is a Canadian company that started off with two girls that were passionate about creating their own jewelry during their teen years.  They are now supremely successful having been featured in O Magazine and their jewelry worn by some very famous celebrities.

9) Professor Layton and the Lost Future:  And now presenting the last item of the list.  I love the Professor Layton games.  The cute art, the story, the puzzles and music....everything about of them makes me happy.  I've finished playing The Curious Village and The Diabolic Box, which leads me to want to get my hands on the third game The Lost Future.  

Need it, want it, got to have it!

I hope you enjoyed seeing and reading through my wish list and even spotted something you might like for yourself, girlfriend, friend or family member. 

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